I’ve been thinking a lot about harassment lately, and the role it has taken in the news currently. With Judge Kavanaugh and Professor Ford about to give testimony today, and the media circus that will surround it (and the partisan politics surrounding THAT), it is sure to be one of those days. The shift in society to start believing victims of harassment and abuse, of course, has led to pushback. This backlash has come from mostly men, who seek to protect each other from any sort of consequences in their lives. These cases often lack any sort of evidence, so the “he said, she said” defense has been enough to protect any wrongdoing, and allows sexual misconduct to continue unimpeded. So what can the rest of us, who want to support victims of harassment/abuse, do to help?
I think it is very easy to live in your own bubble, and things that don’t impact you and the people around you directly, don’t take up much brain space. How bad of a problem can it be, I don’t know anyone who has been the victim of sexual misconduct? Ignorance is bliss, but we can only be ignorant for so long. I remember reading the #metoo posts, from women who I know, women who I’m close with. I had no idea, because when I stub my toe I usually spend the next week whining about my struggles to everyone I know. When I engaged my brain however, it makes sense that it wasn’t talked about, because if it didn’t happen to you personally, you probably didn’t hear about it. According to RAINN, out of every 1000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free. Even more alarmingly, only 310 will ever be reported. More than 2/3rds! That number shocked me, and got me thinking about why more women don’t come forward.
Sexual misconduct generally has very little “evidence” which one can point towards the absolute guilt of the perpetrator. You can see this in the current defense of Brett Kavanaugh, as conservative supporters rush to tell you it’s a simple case of “he said, she said”. Professor Ford says she was sexually assaulted, Brett Kavanaugh said it didn’t happen, case closed, we don’t have any “evidence” (Never mind the fact that two more women have come forward, so it’s more like “he said, she said, she said, she said”. Our President has had 13 women say he sexually assaulted them, and HAS ADMITTED TO SEXUAL ASSAULT MULTIPLE TIMES, and that hasn’t changed the minds of the ghouls that rush to defend these men). Without physical evidence, what can we do? After all, we can’t just start *gasp* believing all these “hysterical” women!
I keep hearing the same defense for these men, that if we just start believing the victims who come forward, then every man you know will be blamed for sexual misconduct, by “crazy women who are out to get them”. The argument goes is women will just be able to start making false accusations of anyone they don’t like. False accusations of sexual misconduct will be levied, and innocent men will face the repercussions of this. This argument doesn’t bother to address the negative ramifications women face when reporting sexual misconduct, the scrutiny that they put themselves under, and the general misogyny they subject themselves to. This argument is meant to create fear, protecting the harassers and abusers.
One only has to look at our president to see the game plan for serial abusers. Never admit wrongdoing, and escape the repercussions of their actions. An entire industry has risen to help protect our big, potato sack-shaped president from any repercussions of his wrong-doings, defending him at all costs, no matter what idea comes out of his soggy, worm-riddled brain. In the end, he’s nothing but a symptom of the problem, a system set up to protect the rich and powerful men from any kind of consequence of meaning. They hide behind saying if it can happen to them, it can happen to you! They hope you never use critical thinking to examine what it would look like if it did actually happen to you.
(A brief aside. I hesitated to put this next section in. The issue isn’t about me, and I don’t want to make it about me. It’s about the victims, and what we can do to help them. In the end, I decided it added credibility to talk about what happens in the scenario of a false accusation, and why it’s an argument that doesn’t hold water)
Recently, I was accused of harassment by a fellow member of the ultrarunning community. I was extremely shocked when told about this, as it wasn’t even on my radar. I have not always been a good person in my life, but have always tried to treat people with the dignity and respect that they show me. To be accused felt extremely terrible, and it caused me to question whether or not I had done something wrong. I talked to a few people about it, and they were as taken aback by it as I was. Nobody has agreed with the accusations, but I suppose that doesn’t really matter. The other party felt harassed, and I have no need to argue the issue. I don’t have to be around them, and anyone who believes the accusations are more than welcome to avoid me.
I support the idea of people being able to make judgment calls based on their interactions with individuals, not just some blanket statement of “innocent until proven guilty”. I’ve been accused of something I don’t felt I did, other people can attest to my treatment of others, and the issue can rest there. It sucks, but my life is not ruined, and nor will others be if we start actually believing and supporting victims.
In the end, we as a society need to do a better job of believing the claims of victims, and not just brushing them off. Women currently face terrible consequences for even just reporting sexual misconduct, and we all need to do a better job of supporting them when they do. Jumping to “innocent until proven guilty” or “he said, she said”, just adds another layer of defense for terrible people that have, for too long, gotten to do whatever they want, with little fear of comeuppance. The onus for change shouldn’t continue to be on victims of these crimes, it should be on all of us to believe them. And if you are still worried about the legal ramifications of interacting with women, then maybe the problem is with you.
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system
Here’s a link to RAINN if you want to donate or check out their statistics. I have no clue how to annotate properly on my phone¯\_(ツ)_/¯
CampinMonkey 